I know, okay? It’s not fair, I know. I know you wanted it to work, but it can’t. Not yet. I can’t do it, and I stopped lying to myself that I could.
We can’t be friends while I’m still longing for a future we will never have together (plus I have to face the fact that you might have that with someone else), or while I still say your name close to the edge.
One day all of this will be gone, maybe then we can do it, but I’m not asking you to wait. If this is the end of us in every way, maybe we should just accept it.
This is the last time I’ll say I’m sorry. I know you wanted it, and I’m sorry I cannot give it to you. You mean the world to me, I would do anything for you, but I cannot do this, and you have to understand why: I can’t bear being around you and not being with you, and if you won’t love me, you have to let me find someone who will.Oh, and I know you’re worried, but the treatment is going great, I’m feeling way better, and no, I haven’t had a sip of alcohol since I started and I won’t have any till it’s going.